5/29/08

I am running on no sleep. I only got 2 hours the night before last and I hardly slept again last night, so I'm exhausted, but can't sleep. I'm sick to my stomach and feel like I could puke, so I don't know how detailed this will be, but here it goes...

Jeff took me to see my surgeon this morning. He did an exam and said that the tumor is about 6 cm, which is pretty big. I am atleast in stage 2, but that could change when they get all my test results back. He said I'm probably not looking at a lumpectomy, but a mastectomy instead. That really bothers me, but I knew there was that chance.

Because of my age, the type of breast cancer (invasive ductal carcinoma) and the size of the tumor they are really going to check the rest of my body to see if it has spread anywhere else. I am scheduled for tons of tests starting tomorrow and there will be more to come. I have surgery scheduled for next friday to have a powerport put in for chemo. The surgeon and the oncologist agree that it is best to start with chemo to try to shrink the tumor. It looks like that will start the week of June 16th, so it is all starting so fast.

They talked to me about getting fitted for a wig, which sucks. I think I am going to get my hair cut before I start chemo, so I am not going from long hair to no hair. I think that will be too much for me to handle. I think things have really started to hit me, although I still think that they haven't fully yet. I'm really scared that the cancer has spread. Please pray it hasn't.