So today was shower day and I'm not gonna lie, I was SKERD!!! Yes, I had seen pictures of all the different stages of healing on someone else, but I knew from my past post-surgical freak outs that it wouldn't eliminate the shock of seeing my own body that way.
I took off the surgical bra and found that the gauze and inside of the protective donuts were covered in very thick, dried, clumpy blood that was stuck to the fipples. I started to gently pull it out and caught a glimpse of what was underneath...
OH MY GOSH
I about died! They are HUGE (I know, my plastic surgeon said to not freak out)and as I was trying to get the gauze off, it was pulling on the fipple! I immediately started to sweat and feel light headed. All I could picture was it coming completely off with the gauze. The more I tried to detach it, the more light headed and hot I became, so I ended up having to lay on my bathroom floor in order to collect myself.Some nurse, huh?! I would've be fine if I had been looking at someone else, but this is me! The thoughts, "What did I do to myself" come to mind.
Anyway, I dampened the gauze and worked on getting it off gently and slowly, all the while taking breaks on my bathroom floor to stop from passing out. What a hot mess I was! lol!
So, I eventually got it off, managed to shower, get some of the dried blood off, and take a good look at them. They aren't pretty. Actually they are ugly, but thankfully I know this is just part of the healing process.
THEY WILL LOOK BETTER!!!
On a positive note, I do believe I will be able to shower and look at them without passing out now. So glad that is over!
I wanted to post a video that my friend found on youtube that shows nipple reconstruction. My plastic surgeon's markings were a bit different and the stitching is as well, but it will give you an idea of what I had done.
WARNING: Don't watch it if you are squeamish!