So today was shower day and I'm not gonna lie, I was SKERD!!! Yes, I had seen pictures of all the different stages of healing on someone else, but I knew from my past post-surgical freak outs that it wouldn't eliminate the shock of seeing my own body that way.
I took off the surgical bra and found that the gauze and inside of the protective donuts were covered in very thick, dried, clumpy blood that was stuck to the fipples. I started to gently pull it out and caught a glimpse of what was underneath...OH MY GOSH
I about died! They are HUGE (I know, my plastic surgeon said to not freak out)and as I was trying to get the gauze off, it was pulling on the fipple! I immediately started to sweat and feel light headed. All I could picture was it coming completely off with the gauze. The more I tried to detach it, the more light headed and hot I became, so I ended up having to lay on my bathroom floor in order to collect myself.
Some nurse, huh?! I would've be fine if I had been looking at someone else, but this is me! The thoughts, "What did I do to myself" come to mind. Anyway, I dampened the gauze and worked on getting it off gently and slowly, all the while taking breaks on my bathroom floor to stop from passing out. What a hot mess I was! lol!
So, I eventually got it off, managed to shower, get some of the dried blood off, and take a good look at them. They aren't pretty. Actually they are ugly, but thankfully I know this is just part of the healing process.
THEY WILL LOOK BETTER!!!
On a positive note, I do believe I will be able to shower and look at them without passing out now. So glad that is over!
I wanted to post a video that my friend found on youtube that shows nipple reconstruction. My plastic surgeon's markings were a bit different and the stitching is as well, but it will give you an idea of what I had done.
WARNING: Don't watch it if you are squeamish!
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Oh my Gosh, I got to the 2 min mark and couldn't watch any more. I already feel like passing out after reading about your gauge experience. Glad that's over!! Now heal fipples, heal!!
ReplyDeletegauze not gauge! huh!
ReplyDeletelol I knew what you meant Kathy!
ReplyDeleteI love how you wrote this, cracked me up! Hope you heal quickly so your fipples are more normal. Well done you!
ReplyDeletei raise my hat to all the ladies who go thru this (after ALL they have been thru already). am still saying ouch ah ah.
ReplyDeletethen again, i guess its the most positive part of the whole episode,as it usually means the lady is well again...so here's a big hug to you all.
becky
Mon, how are you?
ReplyDeleteHaha! Oh my goodness. This is kind of how I reacted. I'm pretty the swelling will go down. It is kind of nice though, to wear a shirt, with no bra, and have normal looking fipples - at least my husband likes it. :-)
ReplyDeleteI don't think I can watch the video - it would probably make me sick. I actually had my surgeon move one of my fipples because it looked lopsided under a shirt. So, I went into his office and he numbed me up, and did it right there! Yeah, that's not ever going to happen again. It really freaked me out.
Congratulations on your new fipples. ;-)
-Kara
Foobbabe's Cancer Journey (foobbabe.blogspot.com)
Sister Survivors
(sistersurvivors.blogspot.com)
Thanks Kara! Glad to know there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
ReplyDelete