Hi, my name is Beth and I'm a SLACKER!!!

Wow, I can't believe it has been 10 months since I've last updated my blog! I'm sorry for being such a slacker. I understand that is an extremely long time to go MIA and leave you hanging, but it happens sometimes. I'll try to catch you up the best I can and not let it happen again.

When I last posted, I was getting ready to go for my second tattooing. Well, I ended up needing a total of 3 tattoo sessions before everything matched, but I am now very happy with my results. My aesthetician did an amazing job.

My third tattooing was closely followed by the revision of my back scar, which also went well. It was an easy, breezy surgery and recovery that required zero drains. Anyone who knows me, knows that drains are a big deal for me. After having complications in previous surgeries and requiring those evil, little things way longer than normal, I think I am slightly traumatized. Seriously, the very first thing that I ask when I wake up in recovery is "Do I have any drains?" I believe I even argued with a nurse once in my groggy, confused state that she was mistaken and even though she told me I didn't have any drains and I really didn't, she was wrong and I know I have a drain! Turns out, it was just a cord going to my blood pressure cuff or something that I confused for a drain!! lol I told you, I HATE drains!!! But like I said, I came out of that surgery with no drains, which was a nice way to end my reconstruction journey on a positive note.

Did you catch what I said?!

MY RECONSTRUCTION IS DONE!!!!

Well, unless something comes up or I decide to have some kind of revision in the future, but for now, I AM DONE!!!!

My plastic surgeon did an excellent job and I have great results that I am extremely happy with, but it is still going to take some time to finish healing emotionally. It has been hard for me to embrace the fact that my body is never going to be the same.

I am forever going to be scarred, front and back.

Don't get me wrong, most days I am okay. Some days, I even forget that I had cancer, which I never thought would happen. But there are other days that I need reminded that because I have those scars, I am alive. It's a process, apparently a long one, but enough of that. Let's get back to my updating.

When I last posted I had announced that my sister was going to have a baby. As it turned out, she went to her first OB appointment and found out that her baby had died. We were all so devastated. Even though she wasn't very far along, we loved that baby already. We take comfort in the fact that we will some day get to meet him or her in heaven, but it still hurts. The fact that our loves ones are in a better place than we are, doesn't make us stop missing them.

Aunt Beth loves you baby bean. xoxo

Since I've last updated I have also lost many more of my breast cancer sisters. One of the hardest for me was losing my dear friend, Marie. I had the opportunity to really get to know her at the LBBC conferences in Philly and then we stayed in touch via the computer and phone calls. She was such an amazing woman, a true gem, and one of a kind. She had lived through so much pain and heartache, but meeting her you would never know it. Cancer had taken all of her family, but yet she never once felt sorry for herself.

Marie had something called Li-Fraumeni syndrome, which is a rare disorder that is hereditary and greatly increases the risk of developing several types of cancer, particularly in children and young adults. She battled breast cancer, only to turn around and be diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer.

I can still remember her phone call. She was letting me know that she was thinking about my kids and I, hoping we were all doing well, and then kinda as an after thought mentioned what her diagnosis was. Who does that?! The answer is Marie. Marie did that. When anyone else probably would've been a blubbering mess, she simply asked that I please pray for her. She always put others above herself and I am truly changed because I knew her.

A mutual friend, Carrie and I went to her viewing that was held in New York, so we could say our final goodbyes. That was absolutely the hardest thing I have ever done. She was so young and newly married. She should've had many more years to live. I still can't believe she is gone.

Marie, I love you and miss you like crazy! xoxo, quack, quack!

This year's LBBC conference will be held in a few weeks and the closer it gets, the more my heart aches. I can't imagine being there and not getting to see Marie, Angie, and Catherine. These are all girls that I looked forward to seeing each year and last year's conference was the last time I got to see them, talk and laugh with them, and hug them. It won't be the same without them.

Marie

March 31, 1977 - December 19, 2011

Angie

(pictured in the middle)

January 16, 1980 - May 29, 2012

Catherine

March 31, 1981 - February 16, 2012

I miss you girls so much!

Now that I've thoroughly depressed everyone, I will leave you on a happy note. I am going to renew my CPR and take a RN refresher course. It is 120 hours of clinical and 60 hours of online lecture. Once I am done I will be on a mission to get a job and shut my husband up! lol Plus, I feel like that will be my way of sticking it to cancer. It has kept me from getting a job long enough. I am going to dust off my RN license, overcome my fears, and do this. Wish me luck. Class starts October 16th.

There are lots of other things that have happened in the time that I have been MIA, but I'll save it for next time. I hope everyone is doing well. I'll check in again soon.

xoxo

I have a couple dates....

with my plastic surgeon that is! lol

Tomorrow I go for my second areola tattooing session. Hopefully that will be all that needs done with those for a while. Cross your fingers!

December 20th, I am having the scar on my back (where they took skin and muscle for my reconstruction) revised. When I had complications and the incision broke open my plastic surgeon had to do stitches on the outside. That makes the scar not look as pretty, so she is going to work on that. Surgery should be a breeze. Can't even believe I am going to say this, but after that I think my reconstruction will be DONE!!!! What a long road it has been!

Oh and I'm not sure if I've ever mentioned it on here, but my sister, Erika and I always seem to have doctor's appointments and surgeries on the same day. Well Dec. 20th is no different. She has an appointment with an OB/GYN for a 10 week pregnancy appointment!!!!!!! That's right, my baby sister is having a baby!!!!!! I am so happy for her!

Big day for my family!

Today was my appointment to get my aerolas tattooed on. The aesthetician said the appointment would probably take about 2 1/2 hours, but it ended up taking 3 hours. The first part was signing consent, picking out size, and color. That may not sound hard, but it really is! I was happy to have my friend, Jenn with me, so she could put her two cents in. So once we got the size and color picked, she determined that I would need a local anesthetic (lidocaine) to numb the area on only one side. Turns out I have more feeling than I thought! My plastic surgeon came in to give the injection and then the aesthetician started the tattooing. It wasn't too bad, even on the side that wasn't given the injection. The color and size seems good, so I'm happy. I go back in 8 weeks and we can determine if they need done again. At that time I am also getting a complimentary hour long facial, which I think is wonderful!

While I was getting my tattoos, my sister Erika was in Virginia getting her prosthetic ear. Here is a video that shows Bob Barron's work. It is amazing! http://www.prosthesis.com/video.htm

You can't even tell that her ear isn't real! I'm so happy for her!

















Slowly, but surely, Erika and I are getting though this crap!!!

Where has the time gone?!

I have been soooooo busy lately that I'm lucky if I can remember my name! Here's what's been going on...

On Easter, we surprised the kids with a couple of White Pekin ducklings. They are such a great addition to our family. They are just precious. Here they are, Quacker and Sonny....



















































As you can see, they are growing super fast. Not even a month old yet and they are almost completely white, with new feathers coming in every day. I've been spending most of my time sitting outside with them lately. I just love them so much!

Then we have the kids' schedules that keep me hopping. Gavin is playing baseball, Camille just finished up Cheernastics and is now doing machine pitch softball, in addition to girl scouts. We are always running somewhere and soon cheerleading will start back up.

So, that explains why I have been MIA for a little while, now I will tell you the good news.....

I have a tattoo appointment!!!!!

That's right, the last step of my reconstruction process is now booked! September 1st! I will probably have to go in more than once before they are done, but it is the beginning of the end!

The aesthetician said to plan for the appointment to take atleast 2 1/2 hours, because they go over the risks, I sign the consent, we decide on the size and color together, and then she does both sides.

Hard to believe I am almost there!

14 Days until my Cancerversary.....

The things I've learned along the way

In honor of my cancerversary that is quickly approaching (May 28th), I thought I would share a few of the things I've learned along the way. Things that the doctors don't tell ya!

1. Cancer is not just a bump in the road, it is like taking a totally different route. My entire life has been changed and will be forever.

2. You will be traumatized repeatedly by different things that happen along the way. For me, post surgery results were big offenders.

3. After reconstruction, my latissimus dorsi muscles still work, but not in my back. Makes doing certain things a little interesting for any nearby onlookers. My chiropractor thought it was crazy!

4. Sometimes I get muscle spasms and my foob will go crazy! I now know not to take my big purse while marathon shopping.

5. If I itch my foob, I can feel it in my back. TOTALLY WEIRD!!

6. I ache. I ache in my back where my muscles use to be. I ache where I've been cooked with radiation. I ache down the middle of my chest. Cancer treatment and reconstruction leaves you with lasting effects. Again, I stress, NOT JUST A BUMP IN THE ROAD!

I will stop there for now. I'm sure over the month of May I will think of some more to share, but until then, ponder those!

Could it be?!

Is that a light I see at the end of this reconstruction tunnel?!

I think it may be!

I went for a check up with my plastic surgeon on Thursday and she said everything looks good. There are still a couple scabbed places, but all the main incisions are closed and the fipples themselves have shrunk down a good bit. She said they will continue to shrink down even more, so YAY!!!

Since I looked so good, she took pictures and said I don't have to come back until it is time for tattooing of the aerolas! Usually they have you wait three months after you have your fipples done, but since I've had complications, she wants me to wait atleast four before I get tattooed. That puts me at July, but I would rather wait till the end of August or the beginning of September so I don't have to miss out on any swimming this summer (I wouldn't be able to swim for about 2 weeks, due to risk of infection).

An aesthetician from my plastic surgeon's office is the one who will do the tattoos, so I will get a call from her to schedule when the time gets closer.

I can't believe the foobs are almost complete! I still want to have the scars on my back revised, so I'm not done with surgeries, but this will be a big milestone no less!!

WINNING!!!

The fipples have been all steristipped on since my appointment last week, so I could only see one little part of each one. The drainage had stopped a few days back and I thought the parts I could see were looking better, but I still didn't really know what was going on under there, until today.

I went to my appointment not quite knowing what to expect when the steristrips came off, but thankfully I am here to report that everything is healing nicely!!!!!

So, as Charlie Sheen would say "DUH, WINNING!!"

They are both fully attached, non scabbed, and smaller than they were last week!! It looks as though I am finally over the hump and hopefully on the downward slope.

My doctor put a couple steristrips on them for protection and to make me feel safe, but I don't have to go back for two weeks, unless there are any signs of infection or the incisions reopen! Can you hear my sigh of relief?!

Oh Fipple Fairies,

WHERE ARE YOU?!

One of my breast cancer sisters said "maybe the Fipple Fairies will show up and do their magic?" I'm not quite sure how the fipple fairies work. I didn't wake up and find a fipple under my pillow, so maybe I was suppose to put these ones under it and then I would've woke up to them attached? I didn't want to mess this up, but I'm sure I must have, because not only did the left one that was already opened up, open up more, now the right one is starting to open up as well.

Thankfully, today was my appointment to see my plastic surgeon. After checking out the fipples, my doctor said that she could understand why I am concerned. I guess it takes about a month for the dissolvable stitches to dissolve and when that happens the skin is suppose to step up and take over the job of holding things together. My skin has apparently decided to strike.

It is common for this to happen, but my left side has opened up more than she would like to see. She still believes it is going to hang on, but to reassure me, she put some steristrips over them and I am to put a gauze dressing over the opened spots. After things start to dry up (no more bacitracin) then they should tack down.

She was joking around with me saying that we should've known something was going to happen, because with me, something always does. If I ever go in for her to remove a mole, she said she will tell me it takes 3 months to heal, because although I don't do anything wrong, it always takes me way longer than everyone else to heal and recover!

So she put me on an antiobiotic, told me to change the gauze dressing once a day, and come back to see her in a week. In the meantime, she is there if I need her.

I'm still worried, but I feel so much better after talking with her. She has been so wonderful all through this reconstruction process. If she tells me she doesn't think I will lose the fipple, then I trust her.

Coming apart at the seams!

I had big plans of being productive today. I was going to do the checkbook, pay the bills, get my driver's license picture taken, and shop at two different grocery stores.

I did the checkbook, paid the bills, went to get my shower and that is where it ended! That is when I FREAKED OUT!

As I was undressing I looked down and saw that my left fipple is not attached on the one side. The incision has opened up approximately 1 cm. All I could think was that my fear of it tearing off had come true, just when I stopped worrying!

I shut the shower off, ran out to show Jeff, cried, and then called my plastic surgeon's office. My doctor was in surgery all day, so I couldn't see her, but they said I could go have one of the physician's assistants check it out.

Jeff and I headed down to the office.

The physician's assistant and one of the other plastic surgeon's checked it out. It isn't infected and they both think that it will be fine. All I am suppose to do is put some bacitracin on it and she thinks the opening will fill in.

I was happy to hear she thinks it isn't going to fall off, but I am still having a hard time not freaking out. All I can think about is this fipple that is already detaching, ripping more. What will I do if this thing fails?! I know I should chill out, but I'm scared.

I see my doctor on Thursday. Hopefully I will feel better after seeing her. I know her and trust her.

Please pray my fipple hangs on and my plastic surgeon can calm my fears.

Hello high beams!

I finally took the leap and unleashed the fipples! Now I am only putting a piece of gauze over them, since they have scabs and leave little blood marks on whatever they touch. The donuts and nipple guards have officially been retired. Aren't you proud of me?! I'm just amazed that nothing traumatic has happened yet, now that they are so vulnerable.

I have to watch what I wear because these things are still out of control at this point, if you know what I mean by ehem, high beams! lol I also get pretty sore by the end of the day from just the pressure of my bra, so hopefully that gets better soon.

That is really all I have to say for now, I just wanted to announce my baby step! :)

17 days later

It has been 17 days since my surgery and I am still adjusting to having these fipples. Don't get me wrong, they look much better, but they still have scabs, crazy sutures sticking out, and are big. My plastic surgeon told me I could stop wearing the nipple guards after 14 days, but I'm scared to go without. I have visions of them ripping open or ripping off and can't bring myself to take any chances. How crazy is that?!

Maybe it is just my lack of sleep catching up with me and that is really the reason I am now one fry short of a happy meal! I can't remember the last time I have had a good night's sleep. Since I had the procedure 17 DAYS AGO, Jeff has started sleeping like a wild animal. His arms randomly go flying crazily at me and I have to stay on guard in order to block him. Oh and he also has reverted back to snoring, so he also sounds like a wild animal. Nice, huh?! Isn't it bad enough that I can't sleep on my belly and I feel like I have to be conscious of my every movement in order to keep the fipples safe?! Seriously, I NEED SLEEP!!

On a different subject, for a while I have been entertaining the idea of having some guest posts on my blog. I have had a few emails asking me if I would allow them and I also have some people in mind that I would like to ask. I share as much as I can about how cancer has affected me, but I also want to share what it is like for other survivors and the people around us. I want to bring in a different perspective. I don't want to give anything away, but I have already asked my first person, so look for my first guest post from a very special person soon.

Fan-fipple-tastic!

Today was my one week post op appointment with my plastic surgeon. It is a dreary, rainy day and all I wanted to do was sleep, but I drug myself into my car. I got there a bit early, so I was sitting in the waiting room reading a book, when all the sudden we hear a load noise right outside. All of us nosy patients start looking out the window, as the super nosy patients went out to see what happened. It turns out an ambulance was bringing a patient, overestimated the height of the awning outside the door, and hit the top of the ambulance on the awning! It was rather amusing to see their faces as they sat with the patient in the waiting room! I feel bad for them, but man was it funny!!!


My plastic surgeon said "They (the fipples) look great, if I do say so myself!" The steri strips came off this morning and everything is healing wonderfully. She gave me new nipple guards to wear, instead of the donuts that I had grown to love so much. These ones bring to mind images of the fembots from the Austin Powers movie. You know, the ladies that come out looking all sexy and then start shooting from there chest! Yeah, that is now me!

I will wear these bad boys for about a week.



Then, I gathered up my courage and asked her the burning question...

When will these fipples be a normal size?

I cringed while waiting to hear her answer. Hesitantly she tells me that it will take months.

WAIT, WHAT?!!! I have to walk around with these ginormous things on my chest for MONTHS?! She then went on to explain that they will significantly go down over the next month, but will not be their intended size for several months longer.

My "go to breast cancer sister," who has been there, done that, said that she had her fipple surgery done last March and felt that they were a nice size in July, so I guess this will be a long drawn out process, just like everything else. I will just have to keep my eye on the prize and be patient.

The good news is they are looking much better. I don't always feel the need to vomit when I shower now, I just feel like I have a giant growth sprouting from my foobs! I would like to call that progress!

I go back for a check up in 3 weeks.

The Unveiling!

So today was shower day and I'm not gonna lie, I was SKERD!!! Yes, I had seen pictures of all the different stages of healing on someone else, but I knew from my past post-surgical freak outs that it wouldn't eliminate the shock of seeing my own body that way.

I took off the surgical bra and found that the gauze and inside of the protective donuts were covered in very thick, dried, clumpy blood that was stuck to the fipples. I started to gently pull it out and caught a glimpse of what was underneath...

OH MY GOSH

I about died! They are HUGE (I know, my plastic surgeon said to not freak out)and as I was trying to get the gauze off, it was pulling on the fipple! I immediately started to sweat and feel light headed. All I could picture was it coming completely off with the gauze. The more I tried to detach it, the more light headed and hot I became, so I ended up having to lay on my bathroom floor in order to collect myself.Some nurse, huh?! I would've be fine if I had been looking at someone else, but this is me! The thoughts, "What did I do to myself" come to mind.

Anyway, I dampened the gauze and worked on getting it off gently and slowly, all the while taking breaks on my bathroom floor to stop from passing out. What a hot mess I was! lol!

So, I eventually got it off, managed to shower, get some of the dried blood off, and take a good look at them. They aren't pretty. Actually they are ugly, but thankfully I know this is just part of the healing process.

THEY WILL LOOK BETTER!!!

On a positive note, I do believe I will be able to shower and look at them without passing out now. So glad that is over!

I wanted to post a video that my friend found on youtube that shows nipple reconstruction. My plastic surgeon's markings were a bit different and the stitching is as well, but it will give you an idea of what I had done.

WARNING: Don't watch it if you are squeamish!

FIPPLES FOR ME!!

Yesterday was FIPPLE DAY!!
My friend Jenn and I had to get up at 3 am to be at the hospital by 5:30 am, so needless to say we were TIRED!!! My OR time was 7:30 and the procedure took about an hour. They put me under a light sedation and for the first time ever I remember being in the operating room. I started to feel them working on me (a little ouchy, but not excrutiating), so I layed there a couple minutes listening and eventually opened my eyes to notice I was still under the blue drape! Kinda freaked me out, but I made it through without being traumatized.

I haven't looked at the fipples yet, because there are "donuts of cushion" around them for protection and steri strips and gauze over them. Oh and don't forget the wonderful, new style of surgical bra they put me in. This one has lace and no velcro!!! Pretty snazzy in a grandma style, surgical bra kinda way! All the nurses in the recovery room were coming over to check it out, since it was the first they had seen it. lol!

So far I haven't had a lot of pain, I'm just sore. The nurse told me I have to be extra careful, because if I were to bump them I could rip them right off and bleed profusely! Now of course that is all I can think about and had a very hard time sleeping last night. I'm a belly sleeper and was soooooo afraid I would flip onto my belly if I went into a deep sleep and end up waking up in a puddle of blood and fipples laying on my bed. Hoping tonight goes better!

So for the next 2 weeks, I will be sporting these wonderful "donuts" under my bra for protection. I can shower tomorrow, as long as I put them right back on after I get out. And I go for a post-op visit next week.

I have to admit, I'm a bit nervous about seeing them when I shower tomorrow. My plastic surgeon told me to not be alarmed, but they will look huge, about twice the size they will end up. It helps that one of my breast cancer sisters sent me pictures of her fipple recovery, so I know they will look scary before they look fabulous, but I'm still scared. Seeing them on someone else helps, but somehow I fear it won't totally eliminate the shock. I've hear the words "caught in a meat grinder" used by others, so wish me luck!

Look for more news on the fipples to be coming soon!

The big day is scheduled!

March 1st is when I will be getting my fipples! I'll be one step closer to being done with my reconstruction process that started December 2009! It is such a long process. I feel blessed to have such a wonderful plastic surgeon taking care of me!

FIPPLES!!!!!

The Fed Ex man brought me fipples!! Ya know, fake nipples?! One of my breast cancer sisters sent them to me.


I guess it is like test driving nipples. You can see what size you want, where you want them, etc, so you can work with your plastic surgeon to get results you love.


If you are interested, go to Amoena's website and check out where you can find your local retailer to get your own set of fipples.

Iciing on the cake?

No, even better, nipples on the foobs!

I went to see my plastic surgeon today and she said everything looks great. I should be good to get my nipple reconstruction in March, as long as the hospital's schedule permits. They will call me to schedule soon.

So, I know you must be curious as to how they make the fipple (fake nipple), right? Well here's something I found that explains it better than I ever could...

In modern approaches to nipple reconstruction, the nipple mound is created from skin taken as a local flap on the reconstructed breast. Various local flaps have been described, including the Skate flap, the C-V flap and the Star flap. Regardless of which approach your surgeon chooses, the outcome will be a nipple mound. The areola can then be either tattooed, or it can be reconstructed with a skin graft taken from elsewhere on the body. Common donor sites for the graft include the abdominal scar from a flap reconstruction, the inner thigh, or the buttock crease.

http://www.breastreconstruction.org/SecondaryProcedures/NippleAreolaReconstruction.html

My doctor said it is a very outpatient kind of surgery. It will only require a local anesthetic, so I will be very awake and shouldn't have much pain at all. She describes the procedure like oragami.

Then the tattooed aerolas will be done after summer is over, so it doesn't ruin my summer (you have to be careful so they don't get infected).

Soooooo, I'm getting closer to the reconstruction finish line!! YAY ME!

Whatsup doc?!

Today was my one week post-op appointment with my plastic surgeon and of course I woke up to it snowing. Why wouldn't it snow the day I have to drive over an hour away?!

























By the time I went to leave, I had to push about 2 inches of snow off of my car. It was really coming down fast. I was kinda worried that the slushy roads might get worse and give me a hard time.













Luckily, it slowed way down and the slush that had covered the roads melted. By the time I drove home, the roads were clear and it was only slightly flurrying. Thank goodness!


























So anyway, back to my plastic surgeon appointment....Everything looks good!!!

No fluid accumulated, so there is no regret of leaving my old friend Mr. JP drain out of the picture and I got to find out what went down in the OR. I had been dying to know if she was able to do the revisions without the cadavier tissue and as it turns out, she was. I guess I won't be a member of the "Dead People Skin club" with Kim afterall. :(

She actually used my own tissue to create the sling and then stitch everything down. Now I have to be careful and let everything heal for about 6 weeks, which is an eternity. She recommends I wear an underwire bra to keep everything in place while it heals, no lifting above my head, or pulling anything too heavy. I can however, run the sweeper with my left hand and do things as long as I am careful with the right side. I will be able to feel when it starts to pull on the stitches, so I'll just let that be my guide. I go back in 6 weeks. Pretty easy appointment if you ask me!

Oh and a quick blurb about my headache issue...

They are still here EVERY.SINGLE.DAY!
I am still frustrated and haven't called any doctor about it.
My ENT's office called me to see how my immunologist appointment went.

My ENT is absolutely wonderful. It really is a shame I don't have any allergies and won't be needing him. He is so thorough and really cares about his patients. I spoke with his nurse and filled her in on how the appointment went down and how I am now writing off all doctors. She put me on hold so she could relay the information to the doc and before I knew it he was on the phone. He gave me the name of a good neurologist and said that if it isn't headaches causing my "allergy" symptoms (rather than the allergy symptoms causing the headaches) then he will be left scratching his head. He wants me to see this woman and let him know how it goes.

I haven't made the appointment yet.

Surgery went well!

I guess my plastic surgeon managed to achieve the desired look without using cadavier tissue. I say I guess because...

1. The nurses weren't sure and my mom said the dr. hadn't said anything to her about having to use it.
2. I haven't really had a good look yet to know if it was my desired look.

My restrictions for the next six weeks are no lifting, pushing, pulling anything heavier than 10 lbs. and no lifting my arm up above my head when getting dressed, so I don't pull the internal stitches out. Talk about annoying restrictions!

The absolute best part of the day was waking up in recovery and finding out she didn't put a drain in!!!!!! Hallelujah!!!!

Right now I am queasy, tired, and more sore than I had anticipated, but I'm sure it will get better soon.

Hope you enjoy the picture of me in my sexy postop bra! ;)

Erika's surgery went well too. Her plastic surgeon ended up only working on her scars and decided to wait another 3 months to do the hair transplant to make an eyebrow. I'm sure that must be frustrating for her, but it is better for the end result.

That's about it for an update. I hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving and tons of fun black friday shopping!

Checking in before surgery

Yesterday I went for pre-op with my plastic surgeon. All of my pre-op testing was good, so she drew her plan of action all over my chest in preparation for today.

FYI: Do not wear a v-neck on the day your plastic surgeon is going to draw all over you, just sayin'! I did and ended up having to walk out with my hoodie all zipped up in order to cover all the black marker lines that my shirt did not hide! lol

She said she is going to try to achieve the desired results without having to use the cadavier tissue (or as my friend Kim likes to call it, Dead people skin) as a sling, in order to try to reduce the risk of complications, but it will be there for her in case she needs it. I also may be reunited with my dear friend, Mr. JP drain, UGH!! I really hope I wake up and find out she didn't need to use one, but she said since she will be messing with the capsule it would probably be a good idea. I'll deal with whatever happens, but my fingers will definitely be crossed.

I have to be at the hospital at 11:00 and my surgery is scheduled to start at 1:00.

My sister, Erika wanted to be cool like me and will be having surgery at another hospital today as well. She will be getting another skin graft, some scar revisions, and a hair transplant to make her a new eyebrow. It is a busy day for our family!

To quickly update on my headaches and mood...

The headaches are still here. They are getting worse and are constant.

I am currently on a med strike that started on my bad day. That night I picked up the bag that I keep them all in and whipped it across the room. I picked the bag up off the floor, but haven't taken any of them since. (Don't worry, my tantrum will eventually end and I will resume my compliance.)

So, that's my update. I will check in as soon as I can to let you all know how surgery went. Hopefully the girls will be looking beautiful!