I throw my hands up in the air sometimes...

...but not to say AY-OH, to say I'M DONE!!!!!!!!!!!

Yesterday was one of those days.

I had two appointments.

The first one was with the ophthalmologist to have my left eye checked. He said the nevus is stable, measuring 1.5 mm x 1.5 mm. It looks okay, but mets cannot be ruled out. I am currently on Tamoxifen, which could be keeping it at bay. He said we could do a biopsy, but it would be major surgery, they would have to go in through the front of my eye, and it would cause more problems (vision problems, cataracts, etc) than it's worth. Yeah, I'm not really into all that, so we will continue to watch it. I go back in 3 months.

Appointment number two was with the immunologist. My ENT wanted my immune system checked out since I have all of these "allergy symptoms" and sinus headaches, but my allergy testing was negative. I saw two doctors there (both commented on my crazy eyes). The first one came in and asked me a bunch of questions and the second one came in, sat down, told me he thinks I am having migraines and should see a neurologist, then sent me on my way. Neither one did any type of physical exam at all. I felt like bursting into tears at that very second, but instead I waited till I got to the car. Not only did he pass me off to another doctor, I am still having these unrelenting headaches, that hurt to even move my eyes and I will now have to wait for yet another appointment. It is so frustrating. I'm to the point of throwing in the towel. I want to quit seeing all doctors, quit taking all my medicines, and just let whatever happens, happen.

Surgery is Tuesday. Hoping my mood improves.