I wonder....

would an apple a day keep my doctors away?! lol

I had my 3 month checkup with my oncologist this morning. He went over my scans results with me. My brain MRI showed sinusitis and my CT scan showed I have cyst on my left ovary. I'll have to follow up on that one with my gyne, but I do know that studies have shown that Tamoxifen can cause ovarian cysts.

A study I found in the Oxford Journals (http://jjco.oxfordjournals.org/content/35/10/607.full)states...

Patients still having a menstrual cycle during tamoxifen had high risk (58.33%) of developing ovarian cysts. We have described an association between pre-menopausal patients using tamoxifen with high E2 level and ovarian cyst enlargement.

So I guess I fall into that lucky group! Par for the course. lol

Other than that, everything looks good. He isn't really worried about whatever it was that disappear from my left eye. PHEW!! I go back for blood work and a check up in 3 months.

I don't even know what to think...

Yesterday morning I had an appointment to have the nevus in my left eye checked. He dilated my eye and looked everywhere, can't find it. Got a different machine and looked all over, couldn't find it with that one either. So he tells me "I guess it is possible that it could have just went away." So, I asked how common that is and he said not very. Then he goes on to say that he doesn't know how to feel about this.

Since I am taking Tamoxifen, it may have been metastatic breast cancer that responded to the treatment (which is good for a bad scenario). He said I should have scans and blood work done to see if there is cancer elsewhere in my body. It is uncommon for breast cancer to spread to the eye and more common for it to go to the liver and bone. He ordered the blood work to check my liver function and some other stuff, but I need to talk to my oncologist to see about scans.

My doctor has a daughter who is only 4 years younger than me, so he thinks of me like his daughter. When he was discussing this stuff with me he had tears in his eyes.

All day yesterday, before and after the Britney Spears concert, I kept randomly breaking down and crying. If I get more bad news you might as well point me in the direction of the nearest tall building.

If all the tests come back normal then I will go back in 6 months to have both eyes dilated and examined.

I throw my hands up in the air sometimes...

...but not to say AY-OH, to say I'M DONE!!!!!!!!!!!

Yesterday was one of those days.

I had two appointments.

The first one was with the ophthalmologist to have my left eye checked. He said the nevus is stable, measuring 1.5 mm x 1.5 mm. It looks okay, but mets cannot be ruled out. I am currently on Tamoxifen, which could be keeping it at bay. He said we could do a biopsy, but it would be major surgery, they would have to go in through the front of my eye, and it would cause more problems (vision problems, cataracts, etc) than it's worth. Yeah, I'm not really into all that, so we will continue to watch it. I go back in 3 months.

Appointment number two was with the immunologist. My ENT wanted my immune system checked out since I have all of these "allergy symptoms" and sinus headaches, but my allergy testing was negative. I saw two doctors there (both commented on my crazy eyes). The first one came in and asked me a bunch of questions and the second one came in, sat down, told me he thinks I am having migraines and should see a neurologist, then sent me on my way. Neither one did any type of physical exam at all. I felt like bursting into tears at that very second, but instead I waited till I got to the car. Not only did he pass me off to another doctor, I am still having these unrelenting headaches, that hurt to even move my eyes and I will now have to wait for yet another appointment. It is so frustrating. I'm to the point of throwing in the towel. I want to quit seeing all doctors, quit taking all my medicines, and just let whatever happens, happen.

Surgery is Tuesday. Hoping my mood improves.

My ophthalmologist appt.

I went in thinking my appointment was because my optometrist thought she saw a small tear in my retina. As it turns out, I was there because of the nevus that is on my left eye's retina. The ophthalmologist said it is approximately 1 mm x 1 mm, so it is small. He said it could be metastatic breast cancer, so I have to go back in 3 months to have it checked. If it is a met, then we should see change. I will be followed closely for a while and then eventually end up going once a year for follow up.

I was blown out of the water when the whole conversation ended up being about cancer, when I thought I was going for a possible retina tear, which I thankfully do not have.

When is cancer ever going to leave me alone?!

Seriously?!

The kids and I had eye appointments today. No big deal, I go, get an examination, pick out a new pair of glasses, and call it a day. Well, I should know by now that nothing is ever that simple for me.

Due to my cancer history and the fact I am taking Tamoxifen (which can cause plaques) she wanted to dilate my eyes and have a look around. Since it was just the kids and I, she said I could have retinal mapping done and it would tell her the same thing without my pupils being dilated, which then I would be able to drive. I would just have to pay $30 since the insurance doesn't cover it. Fine, we do that and it shows I have one dark spot that she thinks is a nevus (freckle or a mole on the eyeball). This kind of thing could turn into a melanoma or another kind of cancer, but right now it looked benign. I guess they will have to watch it.

Fine, I guess I'm good right? Well no, there is also a small thing that looks like a retinal tear, but she has never seen one that small, so she dilated that eye to look at it that way. She said she isn't sure what it is, so she is referring me to an ophthalmologist.

I can't even freaking go to the eye doctor without a problem!!!!!!!!